REPARENTING OURSELVES:
Transforming Trauma & Intergenerational Cycles

(formerly titled HEARTS ON FIRE)

8-Week Course
Begins January 8th

You’re invited to an eight-week journey of self-compassion and transformational self-discovery as we bring healing to layers of trauma and intergenerational cycles. Together, we’ll focus on nurturing the parts of us that need it most: our wounded inner children and reactive defense mechanisms.

These “exile” and “firefighter” aspects of our nervous system often show up as loneliness, anger, anxiety, dissociation, rigidity, self-medicating habits, or unresolved grief. Though they are frequently met with resistance, in a space of self-compassion and curiosity, these parts can transform, returning to their natural state of strength, vitality, and joy.

What You’ll Experience:

    •    Learn how to open to self-compassion and direct it towards wounded parts within you

    •    Apply the foundational tools of Internal Family Systems (IFS) to shift patterns of thought and behavior towards presence and possibility

    •    Receive solid support from a like-minded community, all working toward healing and self-empowerment

This course is for you if:

    •    You’ve been to therapy but still feel stuck in certain patterns

• You like the idea of self-compassion, but experiencing self-compassion is another story

    •    You’d like to supercharge your ongoing therapy

    •    You seek new insights and practices that speak to your unique life situation

    •    You’re interested in grounded, human spirituality rooted in empowerment and growth

    •    You’ve tried meditation but felt your busy mind or anxiety was in the way

A mix of self-paced content and weekly live Zoom calls. 

EVERY WEEK YOU’LL GET

• One or more guided meditations that deepen as we go

• Pre-recorded dharma talks (20-30 mins)

• Handout to accompany the talk

• Reading assignment + journal prompt

• Online discussion forum moderated by Tess Felder 

• Eight group Zoom calls with Ralph on Wednesdays

  Two Zoom options (come to one or both):

  • Evening: 5-6pm PT / 8-9pm ET

  • Mid-day: 11am-12pm PT / 2-3pm ET (Europe-friendly option)

• All Zoom calls are recorded and shared the next day to course participants

Readings assigned from:
Outshining Trauma: A New Vision of Radical Self-Compassion
 which you can purchase here and here

GOOD TO KNOW

• Ideal time investment: 2 - 4 total hours per week. You’ll be supported in however deep you choose to go (or not go).

• You do not have to do every single thing offered to get substantial benefit 

• Optional private sessions with Ralph are available

• Radical non-pathology: The audacious notion that nothing is wrong with you. You’re not broken, dysfunctional, or neurotic. You had to figure out how to survive and feel emotionally safe in some tough situations, though. You were also born into an emotionally unintelligent society where aggression is normal and conformity is demanded. Whatever’s driving you to this course—be it depression, anxiety, relationship rollercoasters, grief, self-medication cycles, or simply the sense that there must be more—is the product of how you adapted to all this. And it worked. You survived. And it is also an excellent idea to evolve now. 

• Compassion first: Compassion is the strongest, cleanest fuel for healing and growth. Curiosity is the doorway to removing obstacles and past conditionings. Self-love is the essential nutrient we’re hungry for. If self-shaming and self-punishment worked, you wouldn’t be reading this.

• Start where you are: Whatever the level (or lack) of trauma, whether you’re a beginning meditator or a fifth-level bodhisattva, we all start in the same place: what it’s like here and now. We all do the same work, even if at different levels of subtlety. And we will all mess up, miss a day, get behind, etc. In these courses, the invitation is to continually accept where we are, and keep going from there. (If you’re getting the vibe that you’re allowed to be utterly human around here, good.)

• Community amplification: Healing in isolation is one thing, healing with folks who are having their own insights and breakthroughs amplifies our own process—even for introverts who are attached to our pillow forts.

• Meditation is a must: We all know change comes from within, but how much time do we spend there, within? If we want our lives to evolve, we simply must relate directly to what’s happening inside of us. Meditation offers us a self-governed home base where we can do inner work any time, anywhere, and free of charge. The meditations offered here different. They are an invitation to a kind of self-relationship that’s only available when we spend time inside. Busy minds are welcome here

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Can trauma really be healed?
Yes. Many people are living proof of this. Just like a broken arm, the pieces of a broken heart can come back together. Just like a virus, the pain and shame can be ejected from the body. And just like with catastrophic illnesses, when healing trauma isn’t possible, it is still possible to grow new awarenesses, develop new skills, discover new choices, and reclaim joy even though there is still difficulty.


What if I can’t make the Zoom calls?
They are recorded and shrewd with the group the next day

What if I can’t or don’t keep up with all the content?
No problem. What matters most is the energy you do put in. There is no judgment, only acceptance and encouragement. If you fall behind (and we all do), you can always just pick up right where we are in the course with no pressure to get “caught up.” This path is a tightrope that’s six inches off the ground; easy to fall off, easy to get back on. 

What are private sessions like?
Imagine you go to see a therapist or coach and they already know the meditations you’ve been doing and the process you’ve been using to heal. Private sessions are an opportunity to go deep on a particular area of your life you’re stuck with. They are also an opportunity to ask questions, get recommendations, or explore meditation in a different way. Professional mentorship is also available.

What if I’m broke?
Sliding scale options are offered and if those don’t work for you, just write to Ralph at ralph@ralphdelarosa.com . No one turned away for lack of funds. Ralph was poor most of their life and had to volunteer at meditation centers and ask for financial aid in order to learn. So, no questions asked. Healing belongs to us all.

Is this suitable for beginners to meditation and/or IFS?
Yes.

Is this suitable for experience and advanced practitioners?
Also yes. The integration of Buddhism and IFS Ralph offers is unique (and approved of by Richard Schwartz) and lays bare the essence of both IFS and Buddhism in a unique way. 

Does this course mean doing parts work every day?
No. You’ll be given other grounding meditations to alternate with. 2-3 parts work meditations is usually plenty, and the other meditations are crafted with both maintenance of the work and the need for soft rest in mind.

Are CEUs offered?
Not yet. 

Are there any rules?
Basic decency and abstaining from bigotry. It is crucial that this space be welcoming to all folks, and especially to anyone who feels marginalized and disenfranchised in our society because of their race, gender status, disability, sexual orientation, religion, and so on. We all know what kindness and respect mean. Anything less will be addressed (with care).

I suck at meditation.
Everyone does. As neuroscientist Kelly McGonigal says, “the worse you are at meditation, the better it is for you.” 

No, really, I tried a bunch and it didn’t work for me.
Meditation is the core engine of the self-healing work presented. That said, it is approached in a way that you most likely have not encountered, with a deeper intention behind it than “stress reduction”. You have express permission to let it be messy if that’s what it is. Choose accordingly. If it isn’t for you, I do hope you find what you’re looking for!

Why meditation?
We all know change comes from within, but how much time do you spend there, within? If we want our lives to evolve, we simply must relate directly to what’s happening inside of us. Meditation offers us a self-governed home base where we can do therapeutic self-work any time, anywhere, and free of charge. Again, the meditation offered in this course isn’t stress reduction as we can find in other things like painting or hiking. This is about deep self-relationship and becoming prone to healing experiences and life-altering flashes of insight.